I don’t know why – do you?

So have we been setting goals people? Fed up with me yet? Are you thinking – “I have made goals. I have listened to all of the greats. Brian Tracey shares my bed, Dale carnegie  hikes a lift in to work with me, Anthony Robbins is in my kitchen: I am taking their advice BUT I still am not seeing the money rolling in?”

In fact I am sure that you all have goals. If you fancy yourself to be in the top 5% of the population – then I am willing to bet that you have goals written down in a diary, on the walls. Like me – you have probably even dabbled in the vision board. I am in the top 5%. My money will follow one day.

I have lots of goals. And sure enough, as Anthony Robbins launched in to his chapter on goal making; I rolled my eyes at the long road in front of me, and grunted. ‘Here we go again…” I groaned.

But he shook me up. There and then – in my car at 7am in the morning, as I went to collect my ‘mothers help’, I nearly veered off the road. It was a real EUREKA moment. Anthony Robbins in his sexy funny voice (yeah I’m hooked); asked me WHY was I following these goals that I had made?

Huh? I was stumped and I paused Mr Robbins for a long moment. Well I thought- I want to help poor people, do something about world peace, save the animals and be able to wear a really small bikini. And just to add to that, as an afterthought of course, I wouldn’t mind having lots of the green stuff!

Well, I wasn’t entirely sure if truth be told. What are my fundamental reasons for wanting to  be wealthy or at least being successful? Usually, when we achieve a goal or project  we have a driving force. Occasionally it is a monetary reward, but more often than not, there are other drivers. I mean, is a massive house and butler enough of a driving force? Well it isn’t for me. Your ‘why’ needs to be deeper – it needs to go further. Your ‘why’ – needs to motivate you for long enough.

For example, when I was a teenager I was mercilessly bullied by my cousins as I was Miss More Than Porky, and they were Miss World wannabes. In the end they were my drivers. I just wanted to lose weight to ‘show’ them. And it worked. The satisfaction was priceless. The ‘why’ in this situation, went to my core. I used my negative emotions to achieve a goal Make use of your negativity, it’s there for a reason. Every emotion is.

As a people, us British, are uncomfortable with admitting that we desire anything. Most employees have burning passions for art or literature. Some want to show their bosses the door and go and venture out on their own. But more often than not keep our wants wrapped up in the dark corners of our psyche. We don’t want to allow anyone, including ourselves, to think about what it is we really want – and why. It is safer to live in a bubble of daily monotony -than to express our innermost thoughts and risk failing.

It’s fear of looking stupid if we don’t get what we want. It’s fear of being mocked – or worse still its the fear that if we don’t achieve our dreams – we may suddenly realise that – that’s it. Nothing is going to improve in our lives.

In fact it’s just easier to roll over and watch Jeremy Kyle to make ourselves feel better. In fact, you may be grateful that your life is almost regal compared to that of those atrocious items of people that grace his studio.

In order to succeed your ‘why’ needs to be powerful in every way. It needs to include an image. You need to be able to see why you need to achieve your goals. For example; as an employee, I had no need to want change – until I had children. Naively I didn’t think I would ever want out of the rat-race, but as soon as I held my first born – reality dawned.

And now, with two children, my ‘why’s’ are for them, and my family. I want to be there for my children. I don’t want their childhood years blurred in to oblivion through tiredness and a frazzled nature. So much pressure comes from being a full-time working mum; I know I have been there. Motherhood a is full-time job whether you work or not. I want to be able to create a living from home.

The other enormous ‘why’ I have, has to do with my more ‘mature’ years to come; where false teeth and hot water bottles will be the norm! Imagine being old and relying on a pension. The thought of living in a cold, dirty house is awful. Yuck. Horrifying. I want my retirement to be a holiday. I want to enjoy those years. If I don’t try and live my dreams now – it will be too late then. I don’t want to EVER say ‘what if I’d…’ So I am doing it now.

I’m putting all my spare time in to me and the future of my beautiful family. I have my reasons and by God’s grace I have found what I am destined to do. I could do it around the clock. Despite my lack of sleep due to a baby, I don’t ‘want’ to sleep. I have only just realised what it means to find something you are passionate about.

Give yourself time too. As you sit at your desk at work: work on what you want and what your reasons are. FEEL your reasons. Write them out. SHOUT them out. Embrace negative emotions: USE ANGER to get busy. Use JEALOUSY to inspire you. Then repeat the process whenever you remember.You must work on yourself before your dreams will begin to materialise. You could be doing the job of your dreams – if only you’d let yourself dream.

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www.inspiringhampshire.com

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