Riya Agnihotri, Writing and Information on the latest in child development, education, spiritual parenting, Teen parenting, home education, teaching, writing for children. » Developing Genius

Carpe Diem (Sieze the day) – You Haven’t a Moment to Waste….

Riya Agnihotri — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 03:26:36 +0000

So now that you know that there really is no excuse for following your ‘true path’ or ‘dreams’ I am going to examine how you can practically achieve your goals and follow your dream until you can leave your job.

So what is it that stops the average person from moving forward? What stands in the way of your (often solitary) journey in to another world? That is what it is. You must enter a new consciousness if you are going to rise above the monotony of a bog standard job and existence, If you do decide that you want to take that step -and you take ACTION – then you would be in a tiny minority of individuals who dare to be different.

Believe it or not there are very few ‘doers’ amongst us. The doers – have grappled with fear, tackled procrastination – and have left behind their excuses and lazy days. They have risen from the depths of the monotonous pits of daily life. They want more and they are prepared to DO, to get more. In the words of Goethe: To have more- you must first be more. As Jennifer Lopez famously penned: ‘Im still, I’m still Jenny from the Bronx…’ All sniggering aside that’s where the babe is from and she went all the way. (Group hug time – yeah!). There are countless such examples. if one can do it – so can we – with our own desires.

However, I know that making decisions to follow ones’ dreams are not easy and it can be high on nigh impossible to leave your job or daily income – especially if you are the sole breadwinner, with children and direct debits to pay for all the middle class trappings. One cannot possibly drive a car under 2 years old and Bill and Bob simply have to go to the best private school in the South.

So how can you hold on to such security and still work your way to success (however you define it). How can you live your dream safely? Well that does depend on the nature of your dreams. But if you want it bad enough you will find a way.

My top tips to live your dreams…and yes I am ‘trying my bestest’ to do them!

-Make time. Create space in your day. Get your derriere out of bed 2 hours earlier. Or an hour if that sound unbearable. Or failing that work through lunch. Or failing that – add the time on to the end of your day.

-You need a destination and a road map; get VERY clear about what it is you want to be, do or have. Then work out small steps to get you there. I’ve been to Rome and now I can appreciate the saying that- ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day!’ It will take time but you have to start somewhere.

- Avoid negative people and situations as much as you can. You cannot have anyone dampening your positive steps. If you cannot avoid these people, then do not ever, under any circumstances, discuss your dreams and goals. Negativity can make you feel that what you have decided on is hopeless and you’ll give up at the first hurdle. Only discuss your aspirations with those who are on the same journey as you.

-Emails, iPhones, Blackberries: these are probably the most subtle forms of dream blockers there are. Your time is VALUABLE. Do not waste every minute of every day answering emails or responding to non -urgent trash that ends up in your inbox. PLAN the times that you will devote to doing this activity. For example devote 10 minutes of phone and email time- for every hour of solid work.

- TV. My advice? Stick a brick through it. Pour Weetabix in to any open orifice you can see. If it’s on the wall – play darts with it. It won’t help you get anywhere. Use the time that you normally spend watching television, reading up on your area, studying the competition or surfing for more information.

- If you are too exhausted to read or do any research: pop an audio book in to the CD player or listen to your mp3 player. Go to www.nightingaleconant.co.uk I have ordered several audio books from this site. They are inspirational, motivational and just plain brilliant. You can have your own personal mentor or coach in your car, your front and at work! They are expensive, but less than a night out for dinner.

- Failing that then meditate and visualise your goals and aims. Get excited about your future. That excitement will push you to do more and be more.

- Failing all of the above? Why are you still reading this article? Go and be average.

- Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero – This is a latin poem by Horace. In translation this line means: “Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future” The ode is explaining that the future is arcane, and that instead one should scale back one’s hopes to a brief future, and drink one’s wine. Well I could get used the wine thing but I think you can understood what he meant.

- Procrastination is the enemy and the only way to overcome it – is to live by Carpe Diem in everything you do. In order that I don’t procrastinate on the bigger things I seize the day with small ones. For example as soon as I think ‘I can’t be bothered to….clean the floor, clear the sink, wash the bottles (baby), unload the dishwasher’: I do it then and there, I have Carpe Diem stuck on a tatty piece of A4 on the fridge. I may get a plaque.

- And last but by no means least. Life is all about self-discipline. Need I really say more? Those that have done what we want to achieve, have oodles of self discipline in almost every major area of their lives.

- You have got time. Some people work two jobs, have children, but still find time to develop that product, do that research, put their business plans together, hunt for investors, pursue marketing and make phone calls; amongst a myriad of other things.

It is these people that ultimately end up by pools, rubbing shoulders with the Osborne’s

and go shopping in Milan.

Develop a sense of urgency (as all the greats say), become busy, gather momentum, act as if your life depends on it….you haven’t a moment to waste…

I don’t know why – do you?

admin — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 01:51:08 +0000

So have we been setting goals people? Fed up with me yet? Are you thinking – “I have made goals. I have listened to all of the greats. Brian Tracey shares my bed, Dale carnegie hikes a lift in to work with me, Anthony Robbins is in my kitchen: I am taking their advice BUT I still am not seeing the money rolling in?”

In fact I am sure that you all have goals. If you fancy yourself to be in the top 5% of the population – then I am willing to bet that you have goals written down in a diary, on the walls. Like me – you have probably even dabbled in the vision board. I am in the top 5%. My money will follow one day.

I have lots of goals. And sure enough, as Anthony Robbins launched in to his chapter on goal making; I rolled my eyes at the long road in front of me, and grunted. ‘Here we go again…” I groaned.

But he shook me up. There and then – in my car at 7am in the morning, as I went to collect my ‘mothers help’, I nearly veered off the road. It was a real EUREKA moment. Anthony Robbins in his sexy funny voice (yeah I’m hooked); asked me WHY was I following these goals that I had made?

Huh? I was stumped and I paused Mr Robbins for a long moment. Well I thought- I want to help poor people, do something about world peace, save the animals and be able to wear a really small bikini. And just to add to that, as an afterthought of course, I wouldn’t mind having lots of the green stuff!

Well, I wasn’t entirely sure if truth be told. What are my fundamental reasons for wanting to be wealthy or at least being successful? Usually, when we achieve a goal or project we have a driving force. Occasionally it is a monetary reward, but more often than not, there are other drivers. I mean, is a massive house and butler enough of a driving force? Well it isn’t for me. Your ‘why’ needs to be deeper – it needs to go further. Your ‘why’ – needs to motivate you for long enough.

For example, when I was a teenager I was mercilessly bullied by my cousins as I was Miss More Than Porky, and they were Miss World wannabes. In the end they were my drivers. I just wanted to lose weight to ‘show’ them. And it worked. The satisfaction was priceless. The ‘why’ in this situation, went to my core. I used my negative emotions to achieve a goal Make use of your negativity, it’s there for a reason. Every emotion is.

As a people, us British, are uncomfortable with admitting that we desire anything. Most employees have burning passions for art or literature. Some want to show their bosses the door and go and venture out on their own. But more often than not keep our wants wrapped up in the dark corners of our psyche. We don’t want to allow anyone, including ourselves, to think about what it is we really want – and why. It is safer to live in a bubble of daily monotony -than to express our innermost thoughts and risk failing.

It’s fear of looking stupid if we don’t get what we want. It’s fear of being mocked – or worse still its the fear that if we don’t achieve our dreams – we may suddenly realise that – that’s it. Nothing is going to improve in our lives.

In fact it’s just easier to roll over and watch Jeremy Kyle to make ourselves feel better. In fact, you may be grateful that your life is almost regal compared to that of those atrocious items of people that grace his studio.

In order to succeed your ‘why’ needs to be powerful in every way. It needs to include an image. You need to be able to see why you need to achieve your goals. For example; as an employee, I had no need to want change – until I had children. Naively I didn’t think I would ever want out of the rat-race, but as soon as I held my first born – reality dawned.

And now, with two children, my ‘why’s’ are for them, and my family. I want to be there for my children. I don’t want their childhood years blurred in to oblivion through tiredness and a frazzled nature. So much pressure comes from being a full-time working mum; I know I have been there. Motherhood a is full-time job whether you work or not. I want to be able to create a living from home.

The other enormous ‘why’ I have, has to do with my more ‘mature’ years to come; where false teeth and hot water bottles will be the norm! Imagine being old and relying on a pension. The thought of living in a cold, dirty house is awful. Yuck. Horrifying. I want my retirement to be a holiday. I want to enjoy those years. If I don’t try and live my dreams now – it will be too late then. I don’t want to EVER say ‘what if I’d…’ So I am doing it now.

I’m putting all my spare time in to me and the future of my beautiful family. I have my reasons and by God’s grace I have found what I am destined to do. I could do it around the clock. Despite my lack of sleep due to a baby, I don’t ‘want’ to sleep. I have only just realised what it means to find something you are passionate about.

Give yourself time too. As you sit at your desk at work: work on what you want and what your reasons are. FEEL your reasons. Write them out. SHOUT them out. Embrace negative emotions: USE ANGER to get busy. Use JEALOUSY to inspire you. Then repeat the process whenever you remember.You must work on yourself before your dreams will begin to materialise. You could be doing the job of your dreams – if only you’d let yourself dream.

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Beethoven Was Beaten. Torture, Turmoil and – Talent?

Riya Agnihotri — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 22:47:51 +0000

Neighbours of the Beethovens…recall seeing a small boy ‘standing in front of the clavier and weeping.’ He was so short he had to climb a footstall to use the keys. If he hesitated his father beat him. When he was allowed off, it was only to have a violin thrust in to his hands, or a musical theory drummed in to his head. There were a few days when he was not flogged, or locked up in the cellar. Johann also deprived him of sleep, waking him at midnight for more hours of practice.

- Edmund Morris, Beethoven, 2005

So there we have it- another (albeit unfortunate) example of a musical great being ‘created’. I have not brought this to your attention in order to advocate such a horrific way to bring up children in order to ensure a charmed existence. I have illustrated this story in order to highlight that genius is not something that is unattainable and unachievable. These individuals who have such world class talent had in some way, the background that developed this talent.

Again – just to clarify – not everyone can achieve everything. But if we apply ourselves and decide to gravitate towards greatness in our own lives, and also try to impart to our children that regular sustained activity and practice can result in enhanced skills: then we would all feel more fulfilled in our own lives!

By Riya Agnihotri

www.averagetoexceptional.com

www.twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

‘It’s Not That I’m So Smart, It’s Just That I Stay With Problems Longer.’ Einstein.

Riya Agnihotri — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 22:46:13 +0000

Children fail. Time and time again. They ‘fail’ to impress, they ‘fail’ at maths tests. Some children are brushed aside and are mercilessly labelled by teachers - to fail at life.

FAILURE: Let your top teeth dig in to your bottom lip – hard. Notice the way your facial features scrunch up as you imagine the word – this physical reaction happens even before you start to say it. It’s perceived to be a bad word. A bad, bad word. It’s a word that strikes fear in to people.

Schools need to take heed and listen to the advice that millions of people follow. They need to prioritise in education and get back to basics. They need to listen to philosophers and influential thinkers of our time that repeat almost incessantly: ‘Failure should be your best friend… Without failure there can be NO success… It is only through repeated knock backs can one attain greatness…” And let’s face it – greatness is something that most of us try to aspire to in some way or another.

But schools and parents don’t. Unsuspecting children are drawn in to a prevalent culture where there is a fear of failing and it is for this reason that many never even try to move beyond what is safe. Safe from who? Safe from a teacher’s disapproval? Safe from parental frowns and safe from negative societal reactions? Who knows where these complex emotions ultimately stem from. But these attitudes are often with us for life unless we try to make a deliberate mental and emotional shift.

But the scientific community has all but eradicated the traditional notions that people ‘either have it – or they don’t.’ According to scientific studies talent is and can be created. Genius is available for anybody who manages to bring about the right conditions to succeed. But these conditions are external. Your familial situation and upbringing, language acquisition, musical exposure, resources, wealth and mentoring, amongst other things, are largely responsible for what people for centuries have called ‘innate’ ability.

The next post will discuss; The Bronte Sisters, Mozart and Beethoven.

Taken from my blog: http://www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

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Michelangelo Made His Own Magic

Riya Agnihotri — Sun, 02 May 2010 21:38:57 +0000

Michelangelo lived with a stonecutter and his family from the ages of six to ten. He learnt to use a hammer and chisel even before he learned to read and write! He was then an apprentice to the great Ghirlandaio. He was taught by master sculptor Bertoldo.Up until the age of twenty –four, Michelangelo was a up and coming artist and showed signs of real talent. However it was not until he produced the Pieta that he began to be recognised as a ‘genius’ in his field.

But Michelangelo begged to differ about his perceived natural talent: ‘If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery …it would not seem so wonderful at all!’

By Riya Agnihotri

www.averagetoexceptional.com

http://twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

The Process That Created Mozart

Riya Agnihotri — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 22:16:44 +0000

Mozart had an extraordinary upbringing, and his remarkable talent that wowed the world so early on in life – was as a result of a ‘process’, rather than his musical ability being a god given gift.

Mozart was immersed in music from the time of conception! His father was an outstanding and obsessively ambitious Austrian composer, musician and teacher. His name was Leopold Mozart.

Leopold Mozart sought fame and acclaim and wished to make a mark on music that he himself had been unable to do. Thus he directed all of his energies on his children. His daughter became an accomplished pianist under her father’s expert instruction. However Wolfgang Mozart received all of the Leopold Mozart’s attention. His father left his own career to direct all of his energies in to ‘making’ the ‘genius’ that we are so familiar with today.

So there we have it. Wolfgang’s early life was a concoction of the finest ingredients of world class instruction, bundles of encouragement and perhaps the most important ingredient of all: constant sustained practice!

One of the most important elements that one must add to any super-success story is the levels of motivation displayed by the child. For anybody to achieve (adults or children) there must also be an intense will to learn and acquire world class ability.

David Shenk makes the following statement about talent:

‘Deliberate practice requires a mindset of never, ever, being satisfied with your current ability. It requires constant self critique, a pathological restlessness, a passion to aim consistently just beyond one’s capability so that daily disappointment and failure is actually desired and a never ending resolve to dust oneself off and try again and again’ (David Shenk; Icon Books 2010; p57)

Daniel Coyle simply calls the same thing…IGNITION!

www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

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The Brontes Were Not ‘Gifted’!

Riya Agnihotri — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 22:23:22 +0000

So you think that The Brontes, Beethoven and Mozart were genius’s? You will be forgiven for thinking that these people all had a ‘natural’ god given talent.

But as I have repeated (a little too much –sorry); genius is not and cannot be wholly natural. Therefore the phenomenal ability of these world renowned artists was down to something other than their ‘lucky’ genes.

It is hard to get your head around such ideas – but the sooner you do, the more that you can do for yourself and for your children in terms of acquiring skills and talent.

So let’s begin by taking a look at the lives of The Brontes. Daniel Coyle refers to these siblings to make his point about the necessity of deep, sustained practice in order to bring about ‘supernatural seeming talent.’

As we are all aware some classic literature was produced by the Brontes: Jayne Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Agnes Grey, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall – amongst other literary greats. The myth that the Brontes were endowed with a divine gift of unsurpassed creativity and genius, was mostly perpetuated by Elizabeth Gaskell in her 1857 biography – The Life of Charlotte Bronte. Many subsequent biographies were written, but they all tended to fall in line with the Gaskell’s earlier assertions.

However Oxford Historian – Juliet Barker, disagreed vehemently with Gaskell’s analysis. See her website: http://julietbarker.co.uk/books/brontes.html.

According to Barker the Brontes were not ‘natural’ born writers and novelists. ‘Gasp.’ I’ll let that sink in. In fact their first little books were ‘cute’ – Barker uses the word ‘amateurish’.

According to this Oxford historian the Brontes showed no signs of genius at all. Barker continues to say that the writing in these books was ‘slapdash’, their spelling was ‘appalling’ and apparently they made very little use of any punctuation!

So where did all of this talent come from? As Coyle describes; it was through deep sustained practice over a number of years -that this supposed genius emerged. Natural – no. Cultivated? Most definitely!

By Riya Agnihotri

www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

http://twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

The Talent Code: You Tube Clip

Riya Agnihotri — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 20:16:48 +0000

As mentioned in my last post (http://www.riyaagnihotri.com/category/genius/page/2/): Daniel Coyle wrote The Talent Code in 2009. The work is a must read for anybody who wishes to delve deeper in to the world of scientific discovery and uncover insights in to how they can assist their children, at whatever age – to succeed.

If the right factors come together for your child, this may very well lead to greatness. If you like what you read, you must try to impart the findings to your child, as soon as you feel they are able to understand the implications of such groundbreaking discoveries.

As we all know, children, and especially teenagers, can be extremely self defeatist and suffer from a lack of self esteem. In my ten years of experience as a sixth form lecturer – I am acutely aware that students are unwilling to make mistakes. The culture in our schools and the ethos of education does not tolerate failure. It is because of this culture that pupils and students do not push themselves. They fear failure. They don’t want to look stupid. Many low achievers feel they are ‘naturally’ not up to the mark – so they may as well not bother to push themselves.

The view that ’nature’ creates genius is simply a myth. Knowledge of this may assist in leading the way to greater success for many more children. In my opinion the education system needs to embrace these ideas and make success education an integral part of the school curriculum. I am sure such information would go a lot further in blostering school success rates than the pointless PSHE or other such ‘extra’ curricular activities.

Taken from my blog: www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

From Average to Exceptional

Riya Agnihotri — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 21:57:46 +0000

Imagine this: Your child’s classmate is apparently a genius. Little plain looking Robbie was able to read before your child was potty trained. He is able to articulate himself to a degree that is seemingly impossible for a five year old. The teachers have labelled him a genius. He has what people frequently refer to as; inborn talent, innate ability or genius. These words are frequently banded about for children, or indeed adults, who display inordinate amounts of skill.

If you are like most parents there is a touch of ‘jealousy’. You may not wish to admit it. You may brush away the feeling when confronted with such a spectacle.

Many parents have a strong desire for their child to excel. When we witness such talent in others it makes us feel uncomfortable – Daniel Coyle (The author of The Talent Code: 2009) in his unique style calls this feeling the HSE. The Holy Shit Effect. It’s the feeling you get when you see people just like us getting ahead, displaying amazing feats of genius. It’s a wholly different feeling to seeing talented individuals on the television. Like Pavarotti or Beckham bending the ball.

But one thing that we console ourselves with is that such talent is only in the domain of a few lucky people. We sigh as we natter to other parents; “there are very few Mozart’s or Einstein’s – little Robbie got lucky!”

But you are wrong. Such a deterministic way of thinking is breaking down. Paradigms in the scientific community are blurring with new ground breaking research in to the field of genetics. This amazing research is challenging age old notions that there are only a chosen few on god’s earth that reach the pinnacle of success

How would you feel if you knew for certain that Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods DON’T have natural inborn talent?

Think about how you feel about this: Child prodigies are NOT born with special genes that give rise to phenomenal skill in chess or maths or literature or music. “Impossible!” I can hear you mutter. “How can that be?”

But it can be. And it is.

The ideas that I will be discussing on this blog are not as transient or as formless as ‘The Secret’ (or better known as The Laws of Attraction). There is a very exact science to the development of genius or talent.

It is something that schools don’t teach, it is something that teachers rarely know about or care about.

If you want to help your child or teenager or indeed yourself to succeed, these are ideas that you must accept and learn. They will revolutionise your parenting – you will see your child as capable of more things that you ever imagined possible. These are facts that everybody should take their time to digest and promote.

For other realted posts please see my other blog: www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com