Riya Agnihotri, Writing and Information on the latest in child development, education, spiritual parenting, Teen parenting, home education, teaching, writing for children. » Riya Agnihotri

Michelangelo Made His Own Magic

Riya Agnihotri — Sun, 02 May 2010 21:38:57 +0000

Michelangelo lived with a stonecutter and his family from the ages of six to ten. He learnt to use a hammer and chisel even before he learned to read and write! He was then an apprentice to the great Ghirlandaio. He was taught by master sculptor Bertoldo.Up until the age of twenty –four, Michelangelo was a up and coming artist and showed signs of real talent. However it was not until he produced the Pieta that he began to be recognised as a ‘genius’ in his field.

But Michelangelo begged to differ about his perceived natural talent: ‘If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery …it would not seem so wonderful at all!’

By Riya Agnihotri

www.averagetoexceptional.com

www.maiyaonline.com

http://twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

Beethoven Was Beaten. Torture, Turmoil and – Talent?

Riya Agnihotri — Sat, 01 May 2010 15:41:51 +0000

Neighbours of the Beethovens…recall seeing a small boy ‘standing in front of the clavier and weeping.’ He was so short he had to climb a footstall to use the keys. If he hesitated his father beat him. When he was allowed off, it was only to have a violin thrust in to his hands, or a musical theory drummed in to his head. There were a few days when he was not flogged, or locked up in the cellar. Johann also deprived him of sleep, waking him at midnight for more hours of practice.

- Edmund Morris, Beethoven, 2005

So there we have it- another (albeit unfortunate) example of a musical great being ‘created’. I have not brought this to your attention in order to advocate such a horrific way to bring up children in order to ensure a charmed existence. I have illustrated this story in order to highlight that genius is not something that is unattainable and unachievable. These individuals who have such world class talent had in some way, the background that developed this talent.

Again – just to clarify – not everyone can achieve everything. But if we apply ourselves and decide to gravitate towards greatness in our own lives, and also try to impart to our children that regular sustained activity and practice can result in enhanced skills: then we would all feel more fulfilled in our own lives!

By Riya Agnihotri

www.averagetoexceptional.com

www.twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

www.maiyaonline.com

The Process That Created Mozart

Riya Agnihotri — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 22:16:44 +0000

Mozart had an extraordinary upbringing, and his remarkable talent that wowed the world so early on in life – was as a result of a ‘process’, rather than his musical ability being a god given gift.

Mozart was immersed in music from the time of conception! His father was an outstanding and obsessively ambitious Austrian composer, musician and teacher. His name was Leopold Mozart.

Leopold Mozart sought fame and acclaim and wished to make a mark on music that he himself had been unable to do. Thus he directed all of his energies on his children. His daughter became an accomplished pianist under her father’s expert instruction. However Wolfgang Mozart received all of the Leopold Mozart’s attention. His father left his own career to direct all of his energies in to ‘making’ the ‘genius’ that we are so familiar with today.

So there we have it. Wolfgang’s early life was a concoction of the finest ingredients of world class instruction, bundles of encouragement and perhaps the most important ingredient of all: constant sustained practice!

One of the most important elements that one must add to any super-success story is the levels of motivation displayed by the child. For anybody to achieve (adults or children) there must also be an intense will to learn and acquire world class ability.

David Shenk makes the following statement about talent:

‘Deliberate practice requires a mindset of never, ever, being satisfied with your current ability. It requires constant self critique, a pathological restlessness, a passion to aim consistently just beyond one’s capability so that daily disappointment and failure is actually desired and a never ending resolve to dust oneself off and try again and again’ (David Shenk; Icon Books 2010; p57)

Daniel Coyle simply calls the same thing…IGNITION!

www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

www.maiyaonline.com

http://twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

The Brontes Were Not ‘Gifted’!

Riya Agnihotri — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 22:23:22 +0000

So you think that The Brontes, Beethoven and Mozart were genius’s? You will be forgiven for thinking that these people all had a ‘natural’ god given talent.

But as I have repeated (a little too much –sorry); genius is not and cannot be wholly natural. Therefore the phenomenal ability of these world renowned artists was down to something other than their ‘lucky’ genes.

It is hard to get your head around such ideas – but the sooner you do, the more that you can do for yourself and for your children in terms of acquiring skills and talent.

So let’s begin by taking a look at the lives of The Brontes. Daniel Coyle refers to these siblings to make his point about the necessity of deep, sustained practice in order to bring about ‘supernatural seeming talent.’

As we are all aware some classic literature was produced by the Brontes: Jayne Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Agnes Grey, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall – amongst other literary greats. The myth that the Brontes were endowed with a divine gift of unsurpassed creativity and genius, was mostly perpetuated by Elizabeth Gaskell in her 1857 biography – The Life of Charlotte Bronte. Many subsequent biographies were written, but they all tended to fall in line with the Gaskell’s earlier assertions.

However Oxford Historian – Juliet Barker, disagreed vehemently with Gaskell’s analysis. See her website: http://julietbarker.co.uk/books/brontes.html.

According to Barker the Brontes were not ‘natural’ born writers and novelists. ‘Gasp.’ I’ll let that sink in. In fact their first little books were ‘cute’ – Barker uses the word ‘amateurish’.

According to this Oxford historian the Brontes showed no signs of genius at all. Barker continues to say that the writing in these books was ‘slapdash’, their spelling was ‘appalling’ and apparently they made very little use of any punctuation!

So where did all of this talent come from? As Coyle describes; it was through deep sustained practice over a number of years -that this supposed genius emerged. Natural – no. Cultivated? Most definitely!

By Riya Agnihotri

www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

http://twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

www.maiyaonline.com

‘It’s Not That I’m So Smart, It’s Just That I Stay With Problems Longer.’ Einstein.

Riya Agnihotri — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 21:46:13 +0000

Children fail. Time and time again. They ‘fail’ to impress, they ‘fail’ at maths tests. Some children are brushed aside and are mercilessly labelled by teachers - to fail at life.

FAILURE: Let your top teeth dig in to your bottom lip – hard. Notice the way your facial features scrunch up as you imagine the word – this physical reaction happens even before you start to say it. It’s perceived to be a bad word. A bad, bad word. It’s a word that strikes fear in to people.

Schools need to take heed and listen to the advice that millions of people follow. They need to prioritise in education and get back to basics. They need to listen to philosophers and influential thinkers of our time that repeat almost incessantly: ‘Failure should be your best friend… Without failure there can be NO success… It is only through repeated knock backs can one attain greatness…” And let’s face it – greatness is something that most of us try to aspire to in some way or another.

But schools and parents don’t. Unsuspecting children are drawn in to a prevalent culture where there is a fear of failing and it is for this reason that many never even try to move beyond what is safe. Safe from who? Safe from a teacher’s disapproval? Safe from parental frowns and safe from negative societal reactions? Who knows where these complex emotions ultimately stem from. But these attitudes are often with us for life unless we try to make a deliberate mental and emotional shift.

But the scientific community has all but eradicated the traditional notions that people ‘either have it – or they don’t.’ According to scientific studies talent is and can be created. Genius is available for anybody who manages to bring about the right conditions to succeed. But these conditions are external. Your familial situation and upbringing, language acquisition, musical exposure, resources, wealth and mentoring, amongst other things, are largely responsible for what people for centuries have called ‘innate’ ability.

The next post will discuss; The Bronte Sisters, Mozart and Beethoven.

Taken from my blog: http://www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

http://twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

Babies Don’t Get Bored!

Riya Agnihotri — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 10:20:33 +0000

Before my baby gets bored, I must write this post. It is slightly tongue in cheek – however the lesson is very valuable. I read these tips on a website this morning and will definitely use them. You can find the link to the original source below.

According to child expert Magda Gerber, babies do not naturally become bored (I however would beg to differ). Allowing babies time to explore their feet, stare at a lampshade or gaze for hours at a toy green elephant (as my little cherub does) is good for them.

However, for the parent, letting a child occupy themselves can often feel uncomfortable. Carers often feel the need to stimulate their children as much as possible. But letting a baby ‘be’, to discover themselves, can, in the long term, aid concentration skills. Babies require uninterrupted time with their own thoughts and it is in these seemingly quiet periods, that subtle developmental shifts can take place.

Don’t interrupt your baby as he gazes out of the window – wait until his eyes are drawn away and his concentration naturally dissipates - to change his nappy – or feed him. As parents when we decide to interrupt our babies, we shorten their concentration spans. We, in a sense, are not giving our child the respect they deserve. It’s annoying for us to be interrupted by a door bell, phone, or useless chatter at work when we are trying to concentrate. Babies (probably) feel the same way. They just don’t have the same articulation as us adults!

And the most valuable tip? Children and babies love everyday tasks- especially if they are fully present and in the moment. For example. It isn’t always necessary to give the child a toy duck in the bath. Let them splash around in the water and experience the simplicity and the joy of water on their skin (very spiritual I know – I’ll light some scented candles a little later!). They don’t need a toy as you change their nappy. Let them find ways to occupy themselves. If you start as you mean to go on, you will find that your child is more likely to have a longer concentration span – this will help them enormously at school where there will be an emphasis in developing concentration skills further.

So the moral of the story is: Don’t feel guilty… rejoice in your baby gazing and cooing contentedly while you get on with the housework or reading a magazine. Both you and your baby need ‘me’ time. You can be safe in the knowledge that you are actually ‘building’ their concentration muscle rather than neglecting them. If baby play bores you hairless, then this is invaluable advice.

To get some further parenting tips and advice on child development please visit:

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/04/baby-interrupted-7-ways-to-build-your-childs-focus-and-attention-span/

By Riya Agnihotri

www.averagetoexceptional.com

www.maiyaonline.com

http://twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

The Talent Code: You Tube Clip

Riya Agnihotri — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 20:16:48 +0000

As mentioned in my last post (http://www.riyaagnihotri.com/category/genius/page/2/): Daniel Coyle wrote The Talent Code in 2009. The work is a must read for anybody who wishes to delve deeper in to the world of scientific discovery and uncover insights in to how they can assist their children, at whatever age – to succeed.

If the right factors come together for your child, this may very well lead to greatness. If you like what you read, you must try to impart the findings to your child, as soon as you feel they are able to understand the implications of such groundbreaking discoveries.

As we all know, children, and especially teenagers, can be extremely self defeatist and suffer from a lack of self esteem. In my ten years of experience as a sixth form lecturer – I am acutely aware that students are unwilling to make mistakes. The culture in our schools and the ethos of education does not tolerate failure. It is because of this culture that pupils and students do not push themselves. They fear failure. They don’t want to look stupid. Many low achievers feel they are ‘naturally’ not up to the mark – so they may as well not bother to push themselves.

The view that ’nature’ creates genius is simply a myth. Knowledge of this may assist in leading the way to greater success for many more children. In my opinion the education system needs to embrace these ideas and make success education an integral part of the school curriculum. I am sure such information would go a lot further in blostering school success rates than the pointless PSHE or other such ‘extra’ curricular activities.

Taken from my blog: www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

From Average to Exceptional

Riya Agnihotri — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 21:57:46 +0000

Imagine this: Your child’s classmate is apparently a genius. Little plain looking Robbie was able to read before your child was potty trained. He is able to articulate himself to a degree that is seemingly impossible for a five year old. The teachers have labelled him a genius. He has what people frequently refer to as; inborn talent, innate ability or genius. These words are frequently banded about for children, or indeed adults, who display inordinate amounts of skill.

If you are like most parents there is a touch of ‘jealousy’. You may not wish to admit it. You may brush away the feeling when confronted with such a spectacle.

Many parents have a strong desire for their child to excel. When we witness such talent in others it makes us feel uncomfortable – Daniel Coyle (The author of The Talent Code: 2009) in his unique style calls this feeling the HSE. The Holy Shit Effect. It’s the feeling you get when you see people just like us getting ahead, displaying amazing feats of genius. It’s a wholly different feeling to seeing talented individuals on the television. Like Pavarotti or Beckham bending the ball.

But one thing that we console ourselves with is that such talent is only in the domain of a few lucky people. We sigh as we natter to other parents; “there are very few Mozart’s or Einstein’s – little Robbie got lucky!”

But you are wrong. Such a deterministic way of thinking is breaking down. Paradigms in the scientific community are blurring with new ground breaking research in to the field of genetics. This amazing research is challenging age old notions that there are only a chosen few on god’s earth that reach the pinnacle of success

How would you feel if you knew for certain that Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods DON’T have natural inborn talent?

Think about how you feel about this: Child prodigies are NOT born with special genes that give rise to phenomenal skill in chess or maths or literature or music. “Impossible!” I can hear you mutter. “How can that be?”

But it can be. And it is.

The ideas that I will be discussing on this blog are not as transient or as formless as ‘The Secret’ (or better known as The Laws of Attraction). There is a very exact science to the development of genius or talent.

It is something that schools don’t teach, it is something that teachers rarely know about or care about.

If you want to help your child or teenager or indeed yourself to succeed, these are ideas that you must accept and learn. They will revolutionise your parenting – you will see your child as capable of more things that you ever imagined possible. These are facts that everybody should take their time to digest and promote.

For other realted posts please see my other blog: www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

Spiritual Parenting – I Can’t Mummy!

Riya Agnihotri — Sat, 02 May 2009 10:09:09 +0000

I Can’t !

I am sure you have all heard the saying: “there is no such thing as can’t”. Parents often try to
encourage reluctant children with this old adage.

It is very scary how quickly and easily this four letter word creeps in to our vocabularies, perhaps as
young as three years old! My son (who is nearly four and half) uses the word at least four or five times
every day.

Instead of ignoring it and ‘helping’ him I have started to regularly question his use of the word.
It is a highly debilitating word. Say it aloud – you can actually ‘feel’ a block.

By saying ‘can’t’ your mind closes to any possibility of success.
Do you suddenly feel as though there is no point in continuing with the activity you were trying?

That is how a child feels – and that is where the barriers in life start. This is when a child’s self
esteem takes a nose dive.

Can’t is a word continually used by parents on frantic mornings or by teachers during pressure filled
lessons. It is a word that enters our vocabularies early and never leaves.

I believe that it is responsible for crushed dreams – and worse - dreams never made.

Next Post: Tips for eradicating negative language from your everyday interactions with your children. A must for Self Esteem.

Spiritual Parenting: Let Them Be!

Riya Agnihotri — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 19:22:20 +0000

So here is a challenging thought: Stop comparing your little cherub with the classroom genius at his school.

Refuse to take part in any thoughts that crop up when you feel as though your child is not on par with others. As Asian parents this may be a tough proposition.

A parent’s natural reaction with their child (at any age) may be to ‘push’ the child. For example many parents say to their children things like: “Little Johnny can do this – let’s try – I am sure you can too.”

Unfortunately the child will hear:
“Little Johnny is better than me and my mummy/daddy prefer him – I want to try to do it because that will make mummy and daddy happy.”

The trick to raising children with a high self-esteem – is to let this mode of thinking – go. If we insist in pursuing this route without realising its potential pitfalls, we could be in for a lifetime of comparisons. We will:
a) feel inferior in our parenting –it is somehow our fault that our child isn’t like anyone else’s or
b) feel there is something ‘wrong’ with our child!

You will then send the subliminal message to your child that in some way he isn’t good enough. It is at this point that he will start to chase a “better” “more pleasing” image of himself. He may then spend his life feeling as though he doesn’t quite measure up in the game of life.

I see and lecture teenagers with a myriad of problems, from self harm to eating disorders and often such disorders often stem from feeling inferior to others or constantly needing approval from others. They don’t know how to give it to themselves. We need to pass power on to our children.

A happy child is one who can be ‘happy’ with themselves. Not happy when someone says they are good, wonderful or intelligent. They have to feel it themselves.

See http://www.ambaraypublishing.co.uk/my-blog/spiritual-parenting-say-no-to-conventional-success/ for an excellent tip to try. The tip is towards the bottom of the article…