Carpe Diem (Sieze the day) – You Haven’t a Moment to Waste….

So now that you know that there really is no excuse for following your ‘true path’ or ‘dreams’ I am going to examine how you can practically achieve your goals and follow your dream until you can leave your job.

So what is it that stops the average person from moving forward? What stands in the way of your (often solitary) journey in to another world? That is what it is. You must enter a new consciousness if you are going to rise above the monotony of a bog standard job and existence, If you do decide that you want to take that step -and you take ACTION – then you would be in a tiny minority of individuals who dare to be different.

Believe it or not there are very few ‘doers’ amongst us. The doers – have grappled with fear, tackled procrastination – and have left behind their excuses and lazy days. They have risen from the depths of the monotonous pits of daily life. They want more and they are prepared to DO, to get more. In the words of Goethe: To have more- you must first be more. As Jennifer Lopez famously penned: ‘Im still, I’m still Jenny from the Bronx…’ All sniggering aside that’s where the babe is from and she went all the way. (Group hug time – yeah!). There are countless such examples. if one can do it – so can we – with our own desires.

However, I know that making decisions to follow ones’ dreams are not easy and it can be high on nigh impossible to leave your job or daily income – especially if you are the sole breadwinner, with children and direct debits to pay for all the middle class trappings. One cannot possibly drive a car under 2 years old and Bill and Bob simply have to go to the best private school in the South.

So how can you hold on to such security and still work your way to success (however you define it). How can you live your dream safely? Well that does depend on the nature of your dreams. But if you want it bad enough you will find a way.

My top tips to live your dreams…and yes I am ‘trying my bestest’ to do them!

-Make time. Create space in your day. Get your derriere out of bed 2 hours earlier. Or an hour if that sound unbearable. Or failing that work through lunch. Or failing that – add the time on to the end of your day.

-You need a destination and a road map; get VERY clear about what it is you want to be, do or have. Then work out small steps to get you there. I’ve been to Rome and now I can appreciate the saying that- ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day!’ It will take time but you have to start somewhere.

- Avoid negative people and situations as much as you can. You cannot have anyone dampening your positive steps. If you cannot avoid these people, then do not ever, under any circumstances, discuss your dreams and goals. Negativity can make you feel that what you have decided on is hopeless and you’ll give up at the first hurdle. Only discuss your aspirations with those who are on the same journey as you.

-Emails, iPhones, Blackberries: these are probably the most subtle forms of dream blockers there are. Your time is VALUABLE. Do not waste every minute of every day answering emails or responding to non -urgent trash that ends up in your inbox. PLAN the times that you will devote to doing this activity. For example devote 10 minutes of phone and email time- for every hour of solid work.

- TV. My advice? Stick a brick through it. Pour Weetabix in to any open orifice you can see. If it’s on the wall – play darts with it. It won’t help you get anywhere. Use the time that you normally spend watching television, reading up on your area, studying the competition or surfing for more information.

- If you are too exhausted to read or do any research: pop an audio book in to the CD player or listen to your mp3 player. Go to www.nightingaleconant.co.uk I have ordered several audio books from this site. They are inspirational, motivational and just plain brilliant. You can have your own personal mentor or coach in your car, your front and at work! They are expensive, but less than a night out for dinner.

- Failing that then meditate and visualise your goals and aims. Get excited about your future. That excitement will push you to do more and be more.

- Failing all of the above? Why are you still reading this article? Go and be average.

- Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero – This is a latin poem by Horace. In translation this line means: “Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future” The ode is explaining that the future is arcane, and that instead one should scale back one’s hopes to a brief future, and drink one’s wine. Well I could get used the wine thing but I think you can understood what he meant.

- Procrastination is the enemy and the only way to overcome it – is to live by Carpe Diem in everything you do. In order that I don’t procrastinate on the bigger things I seize the day with small ones. For example as soon as I think ‘I can’t be bothered to….clean the floor, clear the sink, wash the bottles (baby), unload the dishwasher’: I do it then and there, I have Carpe Diem stuck on a tatty piece of A4 on the fridge. I may get a plaque.

- And last but by no means least. Life is all about self-discipline. Need I really say more? Those that have done what we want to achieve, have oodles of self discipline in almost every major area of their lives.

- You have got time. Some people work two jobs, have children, but still find time to develop that product, do that research, put their business plans together, hunt for investors, pursue marketing and make phone calls; amongst a myriad of other things.

It is these people that ultimately end up by pools, rubbing shoulders with the Osborne’s

and go shopping in Milan.

Develop a sense of urgency (as all the greats say), become busy, gather momentum, act as if your life depends on it….you haven’t a moment to waste…

Beethoven Was Beaten. Torture, Turmoil and – Talent?

Neighbours of the Beethovens…recall seeing a small boy ‘standing in front of the clavier and weeping.’ He was so short he had to climb a footstall to use the keys. If he hesitated his father beat him. When he was allowed off, it was only to have a violin thrust in to his hands, or a musical theory drummed in to his head. There were a few days when he was not flogged, or locked up in the cellar. Johann also deprived him of sleep, waking him at midnight for more hours of practice.

-          Edmund Morris, Beethoven, 2005

So there we have it- another  (albeit unfortunate) example of a musical great being ‘created’. I have not brought this to your attention in order to advocate such a horrific way to bring up children in order to ensure a charmed existence. I have illustrated this story in order to highlight that genius is not something that is unattainable and unachievable. These individuals who have such world class talent had in some way, the background that developed this talent.

Again – just to clarify – not everyone can achieve everything. But if we apply ourselves and decide to gravitate towards greatness in our own lives, and also try to impart to our children that regular sustained activity and practice can result in enhanced skills: then we would all feel more fulfilled in our own lives!

By Riya Agnihotri

www.averagetoexceptional.com

www.twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

‘It’s Not That I’m So Smart, It’s Just That I Stay With Problems Longer.’ Einstein.

Children fail. Time and time again. They ‘fail’ to impress, they ‘fail’ at maths tests. Some children are brushed aside and are mercilessly labelled by teachers - to fail at life.

FAILURE: Let your top teeth dig in to your bottom lip – hard. Notice the way your facial features scrunch up as you imagine the word – this physical reaction happens even before you start to say it. It’s perceived to be a bad word. A bad, bad word. It’s a word that strikes fear in to people.

Schools need to take heed and listen to the advice that millions of people follow. They need to prioritise in education and get back to basics. They need to listen to philosophers and influential thinkers of our time that repeat almost incessantly: ‘Failure should be your best friend… Without failure there can be NO success… It is only through repeated knock backs can one attain greatness…” And let’s face it – greatness is something that most of us try to aspire to in some way or another.

But schools and parents don’t. Unsuspecting children are drawn in to a prevalent culture where there is a fear of failing and it is for this reason that many never even try to move beyond what is safe. Safe from who? Safe from a teacher’s disapproval? Safe from parental frowns and safe from negative societal reactions? Who knows where these complex emotions ultimately stem from. But these attitudes are often with us for life unless we try to  make a deliberate mental and emotional shift.

But the scientific community has all but eradicated the traditional notions that people ‘either have it – or they don’t.’ According to scientific studies talent is and can be created. Genius is available for anybody who manages to bring about the right conditions to succeed. But these conditions are external. Your familial situation and upbringing, language acquisition, musical exposure, resources, wealth and mentoring, amongst other things, are largely responsible for what people for centuries have called ‘innate’ ability.

The next post will discuss; The Bronte Sisters, Mozart and Beethoven.

Taken from my blog: http://www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

http://twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

Michelangelo Made His Own Magic

Michelangelo lived with a stonecutter and his family from the ages of six to ten. He learnt to use a hammer and chisel even before he learned to read and write! He was then an apprentice to the great Ghirlandaio. He was taught by master sculptor Bertoldo.Up until the age of twenty –four, Michelangelo was a up and coming artist and showed signs of real talent. However it was not until he produced the Pieta that he began to be recognised as a ‘genius’ in his field.

But Michelangelo begged to differ about his perceived natural talent: ‘If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery …it would not seem so wonderful at all!’

By Riya Agnihotri

www.averagetoexceptional.com

http://twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

The Process That Created Mozart

Mozart had an extraordinary upbringing, and his remarkable talent that wowed the world so early on in life – was as a result of a ‘process’, rather than his musical ability being a god given gift.

Mozart was immersed in music from the time of conception! His father was an outstanding and obsessively ambitious Austrian composer, musician and teacher. His name was Leopold Mozart.

Leopold Mozart sought fame and acclaim and wished to make a mark on music that he himself had been unable to do. Thus he directed all of his energies on his children. His daughter became an accomplished pianist under her father’s expert instruction. However Wolfgang Mozart received all of the Leopold Mozart’s attention. His father left his own career to direct all of his energies in to ‘making’ the ‘genius’ that we are so familiar with today.

So there we have it. Wolfgang’s early life was a concoction of the finest ingredients of world class instruction, bundles of encouragement and perhaps the most important ingredient of all: constant sustained practice!

One of the most important elements that one must add to any super-success story is the levels of motivation displayed by the child. For anybody to achieve (adults or children) there must also be an intense will to learn and acquire world class ability.

David Shenk makes the following statement about talent:

‘Deliberate practice requires a mindset of never, ever, being satisfied with your current ability. It requires constant self critique, a pathological restlessness, a passion to aim consistently just beyond one’s capability so that daily disappointment and failure is actually desired and a never ending resolve to dust oneself off and try again and again’ (David Shenk; Icon Books 2010; p57)

Daniel Coyle simply calls the same thing…IGNITION!

www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

http://twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

The Brontes Were Not ‘Gifted’!

So you think that The Brontes, Beethoven and Mozart were genius’s? You will be forgiven for thinking that these people all had a ‘natural’ god given talent.

But as I have repeated (a little too much –sorry); genius is not and cannot be wholly natural. Therefore the phenomenal ability of these world renowned artists was down to something other than their ‘lucky’ genes.

It is hard to get your head around such ideas – but the sooner you do, the more that you can do for yourself and for your children in terms of acquiring skills and talent.

So let’s begin by taking a look at the lives of The Brontes. Daniel Coyle refers to these siblings to make his point about the necessity of deep, sustained practice in order to bring about ‘supernatural seeming talent.’

As we are all aware some classic literature was produced by the Brontes: Jayne Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Agnes Grey, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall – amongst other literary greats. The myth that the Brontes were endowed with a divine gift of unsurpassed creativity and genius, was mostly perpetuated by Elizabeth Gaskell in her 1857 biography – The Life of Charlotte Bronte. Many subsequent biographies were written, but they all tended to fall in line with the Gaskell’s earlier assertions.

However Oxford Historian – Juliet Barker, disagreed vehemently with Gaskell’s analysis. See her website: http://julietbarker.co.uk/books/brontes.html.

According to Barker the Brontes were not ‘natural’ born writers and novelists. ‘Gasp.’ I’ll let that sink in. In fact their first little books were ‘cute’ – Barker uses the word ‘amateurish’.

According to this Oxford historian the Brontes showed no signs of genius at all. Barker continues to say that the writing in these books was ‘slapdash’, their spelling was ‘appalling’ and apparently they made very little use of any punctuation!

So where did all of this talent come from? As Coyle describes; it was through deep sustained practice over a number of years -that this supposed genius emerged. Natural – no. Cultivated? Most definitely!

By Riya Agnihotri

www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

http://twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

Babies Don’t Get Bored!

Before my baby gets bored, I must write this post. It is slightly tongue in cheek – however the lesson is very valuable. I read these tips on a website this morning and will definitely use them. You can find the link  to the original source below.

According to child expert Magda Gerber, babies do not naturally become bored (I however would beg to differ). Allowing babies time to explore their feet, stare at a lampshade or gaze for hours at a toy green elephant (as my little cherub does) is good for them.

However, for the parent, letting  a child occupy themselves can often feel uncomfortable. Carers often feel the need to stimulate their children as much as possible. But letting a baby ‘be’, to discover themselves, can, in the long term, aid concentration skills. Babies require uninterrupted time with their own thoughts and it is in these seemingly quiet periods, that subtle developmental shifts can take place.

Don’t interrupt your baby as he gazes out of the window – wait until his eyes are drawn away and his concentration naturally dissipates - to change his nappy – or feed him. As parents when we decide to interrupt our babies, we shorten their concentration spans. We, in a sense, are not giving our child the respect they deserve. It’s annoying for us to be interrupted by a door bell, phone, or useless chatter at work when we are trying to concentrate. Babies (probably) feel the same way. They just don’t have the same articulation as us adults!

And the most valuable tip? Children and babies love everyday tasks- especially if they are fully present and in the moment. For example. It isn’t always necessary to give the child a toy duck in the bath. Let them splash around in the water and experience the simplicity and the  joy of water on their skin (very spiritual I know – I’ll light some scented candles a little later!). They don’t need a toy as you change their nappy. Let them find ways to occupy themselves. If you start as you mean to go on, you will find that your child is more likely to have a longer concentration span – this will help them enormously at school where there will be an emphasis in developing concentration skills further.

So the moral of the story is: Don’t feel guilty… rejoice in your baby gazing and cooing contentedly while you get on with the housework or reading a magazine. Both you and your baby need ‘me’ time. You can be safe in the knowledge that you are actually ‘building’ their concentration muscle rather than neglecting them. If baby play bores you hairless, then this is invaluable advice.

To get some further parenting tips and advice on child development please visit:

http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/04/baby-interrupted-7-ways-to-build-your-childs-focus-and-attention-span/

By Riya Agnihotri

www.averagetoexceptional.com

http://twitter.com/riyaagnihotri

The Talent Code: You Tube Clip

As mentioned in my last post (http://www.riyaagnihotri.com/category/genius/page/2/): Daniel Coyle wrote The Talent Code in 2009. The work is a must read for anybody who wishes to delve deeper in to the world of scientific discovery and uncover insights in to how they can assist their children, at whatever age – to succeed.

If the right factors come together for your child, this may very well lead to greatness. If you like what you read, you must try to impart the findings to your child, as soon as you feel they are able to understand the implications of such groundbreaking discoveries.

As we all know, children, and especially teenagers, can be extremely self defeatist and suffer from a lack of self esteem. In my ten years of experience as a sixth form lecturer – I am acutely aware that students are unwilling to make mistakes. The culture in our schools and the ethos of education does not tolerate failure. It is because of this culture that pupils and students do not push themselves. They fear failure. They don’t want to look stupid. Many low achievers feel they are ‘naturally’ not up to the mark – so they may as well not bother to push themselves.

The view that ’nature’ creates genius is simply a myth. Knowledge of this may assist in leading the way to greater success for many more children. In my opinion the education system needs to embrace these ideas and make success education an integral part of the school curriculum. I am sure such information would go a lot further in blostering school success rates than the pointless PSHE or other such ‘extra’ curricular activities.

Taken from my blog: www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

From Average to Exceptional

Imagine this: Your child’s classmate is apparently a genius. Little plain looking Robbie was able to read before your child was potty trained. He is able to articulate himself to a degree that is seemingly impossible for a five year old. The teachers have labelled him a genius. He has what people frequently refer to as;  inborn talent, innate ability or genius. These words are frequently banded about for children, or indeed adults, who display inordinate amounts of skill.

If you are like most parents there is a touch of ‘jealousy’. You may not wish to admit it. You may brush away the feeling when confronted with such a spectacle.

Many parents have a strong desire for their child to excel.  When we witness such talent in others it makes us feel uncomfortable – Daniel Coyle (The author of The Talent Code: 2009) in his unique style calls this feeling the HSE. The Holy Shit Effect. It’s the feeling you get when you see people just like us getting ahead, displaying amazing feats of genius. It’s a wholly different feeling to seeing talented individuals on the television. Like Pavarotti or Beckham bending the ball.

But one thing that we console ourselves with is that such talent is only in the domain of a few lucky people. We sigh as we natter to other parents;  “there are very few Mozart’s or Einstein’s – little Robbie got lucky!”

But you are wrong. Such a deterministic way of thinking is breaking down. Paradigms in the scientific community are blurring with new ground breaking research in to the field of genetics. This amazing research  is challenging age old notions that there are only a chosen few on god’s earth that reach the pinnacle of success

How would you feel if you knew for certain that Michael Jackson, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods DON’T have natural inborn talent?

Think about how you feel about this: Child prodigies are NOT born with special genes that give rise to phenomenal skill in chess or maths or literature or music. “Impossible!”  I can hear you mutter. “How can that be?”

But it can be. And it is.

The ideas that I will be discussing on this blog are not as transient or as formless as ‘The Secret’ (or better known as The Laws of Attraction). There is a very exact science to the development of genius or talent.

It is something that schools don’t teach, it is something that teachers rarely know about or care about.

If you want to help your child or teenager or indeed yourself to succeed, these are ideas that you must accept and learn. They will revolutionise your parenting – you will see your child as capable of more things that you ever imagined possible. These are facts that everybody should take their time to digest and promote.

For other realted posts please see my other blog: www.averagetoexceptional.blogspot.com

Spiritual Parenting – I Can’t Mummy!

I Can’t !

I am sure you have all heard the saying: “there is no such thing as can’t”. Parents often try to
encourage reluctant children with this old adage.

It is very scary how quickly and easily this four letter word creeps in to our vocabularies, perhaps as
young as three years old! My son (who is nearly four and half) uses the word at least four or  five times
every day.

Instead of ignoring it and ‘helping’ him I have started to regularly question his use of the word.
It is a highly debilitating word. Say it aloud – you can actually ‘feel’ a block.

By saying ‘can’t’ your mind closes to any possibility of success.
Do you suddenly feel as though there is no point in continuing with the activity you were trying?

That is how a child feels – and that is where the barriers in life start. This is when a child’s self
esteem takes a nose dive.

Can’t is a word continually used by parents on frantic mornings or by teachers during pressure filled
lessons. It is a word that enters our vocabularies early and never leaves.

I believe that it is responsible for crushed dreams – and worse - dreams never made.

Next Post: Tips for eradicating negative language from your everyday interactions with your children. A must for Self Esteem.

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