Spiritual Parenting: Let Them Be!

So here is a challenging thought: Stop comparing your little cherub with the classroom genius at his school.

 

Refuse to take part in any thoughts that crop up when you feel as though your child is not on par with others. As Asian parents this may be a tough proposition.

A parent’s natural reaction with their child (at any age) may be to ‘push’ the child. For example many parents say to their children things like: “Little Johnny can do this – let’s try – I am sure you can too.”

Unfortunately the child will hear:
“Little Johnny is better than me and my mummy/daddy prefer him – I want to try to do it because that will make mummy and daddy happy.”

The trick to raising children with a high self-esteem – is to let this mode of thinking – go. If we insist in pursuing this route without realising its potential pitfalls, we could be in for a lifetime of comparisons. We will:
a) feel inferior in our parenting –it is somehow our fault that our child isn’t like anyone else’s or
b) feel there is something ‘wrong’ with our child!

You will then send the subliminal message to your child that in some way he isn’t good enough. It is at this point that he will start to chase a “better” “more pleasing” image of himself. He may then spend his life feeling as though he doesn’t quite measure up in the game of life.

I see and lecture teenagers with a myriad of problems, from self harm to eating disorders and often such disorders often stem from feeling inferior to others or constantly needing approval from others. They don’t know how to give it to themselves. We need to pass power on to our children.

A happy child is one who can be ‘happy’ with themselves. Not happy when someone says they are good, wonderful or intelligent. They have to feel it themselves.

See http://www.ambaraypublishing.co.uk/my-blog/spiritual-parenting-say-no-to-conventional-success/ for an excellent tip to try. The tip is towards the bottom of the article…

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