Demeanour for the Ultimate Diva

Forget clothes, forget hair, forget facial hair …(okay maybe I am taking that a tad too far!) but seriously have you , as a stylish young Asian woman , ever given thought to what comes out of your Dior pout? Have you ever contemplated the complexities of your charismatic character and how it appears to the outside world?

This is often something that is overlooked in favour of various studies that have been conducted in favour of changing ones appearance in order to win that dream job, bag that dream man or make your business more successful.

But ultimately beauty in all it’s glorious forms also comes in the guise of self-esteem, self assurance including lots of study -as well practice in front of a non-judgemental mirror! The American industry also heavily promotes the cultivation of personality as well as the more the superficial elements of beauty- like boobs, hair and skin. The Self- Help industry is massive in America and growing steadily in the United Kingdom.

The American’s see mental clarity and super confidence as the first rung on the ladder of success and paramount in accompanying our physical presence in to the world. As an example Bipasha Basu isn’t as symmetrical as Aishwarya Rai Bachan and she doesn’t have the milky hues of Katrina Kaif but the woman oozes sex appeal, positively gleams with glamour and has had the honour of being compared to the iconic Sophia Lauren.
Bipasha Basu has been quoted saying that the secret ingredient in a truly glamourous woman is in the mind. She is aware of her own power and harnesses her body to project a certain image: confidence in herself is what attracts other people to her. Body language, is subtle but immensely influential when trying to win over others.

It has been 11 years since Tom Peters, the American Management guru, published a manifesto entitled “The Brand Called You”. Peters declared that; “In this age of the individual, you have to be your own brand…that’s true for anyone who’s interested in what it takes to stand out and prosper in the new world of work.”

Subconsciously we are all used to celebrities, polititcians and world leaders branding  themselves. Shilpa Shetty’s stint in the Brother House allowed her to brand herself in a big way. Her sophistication and grace won the hearts of the nation and it allowed her to capitalise on what appeared to be ‘Eastern Values’.

Before her live trauma on screen, Shilpa was an average actress. Her carefully constructed beauty and amazing body was an important part of the Shetty brand; but it was her deliberate control in the face of adversity and crisp use of her femininity that illuminated Shilpa Shetty and elevated her status in Bollywood and abroad. Only a supremely intelligent woman can use these attributes but still allow her ‘true self’ to come through. Shilpa was careful (or perhaps it was natural and thus effortless) to retain a genuineness about herself: Doing this negated any possible projection of arrogance and allowed the nation to warm to her. Shilpa Shetty is an authentic fake. Master the art and you too could reach new heights.

Perhaps Shilpa Shetty could counsel Naomi Campbell in the art of glamour and muliebrity. Naomi Campbell may be beautiful but the woman carries little class. Arrogance and aggressiveness is unnatural in whatever form it appears, and such behaviour should be anathema for women. These traits although undesirable in men appear a lot more ‘natural’ and are generally considered alpha male attributes. There are other more productive and effective ways in which to make yourself heard. There is nothing quite like control and effeminacy to compliment your physical appearance.

Personal branding supremo Louise Mowbray, of Mowbray By Design, one of the UK’s only Personal Branding Services admits that the British don’t really want to admit they are working on themselves. This attitude is very different to those New York explains Mowbray: “They happily introduce you as their personal branding consultant.” Mowbray charges about £400 an hour and sixty per cent of her clients can be anyone from bankers to plastic surgeons to someone who owns a series of health clubs. The other forty per cent are those in public eye.

Working on yourself and making clear who you are and the image you want to portray will help you stand out in a company or amongst potential clients and customers as well as investors. If you are working in a company with 8,000 others you can ‘stand out’ by being ‘unique’. Find a subtle way of championing a particular cause or develop a particular area of expertise that you will be valued for. Work on your presentation skills and demeanor.

Try to keep up-to-date with what is happening in the world. Take an active interest in literature, art and politics: It will give you something to talk about socially. Read books by successful people and allow them to ‘mentor’ you. I started with “How To Win Friends And Influence People” by the infamous Dale Carnegie. A brilliant self help company called Nightingale Conant have succeeded in changing the lives of hundreds of thousands of people.  Pick and choose the advice that rings true for you.

Ninety nine per cent of people roll along in their lives without any thought to improving how they appear to others or even giving a thought to what their values are and ‘who’ they really want to be.

Image is not just about taking time out with a personal shopper at Selfridges and learning how to apply make-up professionally. It goes a lot deeper.

Finally in answer to the all too familiar question that is often asked is: “How can we create an attractive, magnetic air without impinging upon our true nature and personality?

Many people feel aggrieved that they should have to change; they say it feel as if they are being dishonest with themselves and feel like impostors in their own skin. Surely we should be proud of who we are and feel unafraid of to express ourselves as best we know how? To try to create a new personality can often be regarded as a preposterous suggestion and an added pressure in an already superficial society.

An answer to this conundrum may well be: You might as well not bother to brush your teeth, style your hair or even bother with clothes – why not really go back to your core and the realities of your naked truth?! Developing your demeanour is all about dressing your soul and deviating from the perceived norms of society – taking that time out to nourish how you come across is an all important task, not to be taken lightly in this current climate of competition; whichever field you happen to be in.

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